I want to attract more authentic humans into my life. I am addicted to finding them, or forcing others out of the shells we don’t realize we are in. Because everyone can be authentic, and most people aren’t. But they are with me. I’m enjoying people more than ever! The more the merrier. Just not all at once. It’s hard to be authentic in a group. It makes sense. You can’t read the body language of 10 people at once. It’s harder to catch the subtle clues and give your undivided attention in a shared room.
When I say I want to see you, you know it’s true because I will then see you. I am on time. If I’m not, it’s rare. And when we are together you know I am fully engaged. My phone is on silent and only comes out of hiding if I feel it’s appropriate. I don’t need to hear the “ding” that we are addicted to. Giving us dopamine like a drug. I have more respect for you then to unintentionally say “something more important my come up” by having my phone close by. I don’t have to say any of this. You will feel it.
My kids may be a distraction but you will see I’m doing my very best to not let that get in the way of us. They will feel this to, and start to learn. Not only learn to respect my attention but learn what being authentic looks like. They hear me talk, they know. They know it all. They feel it all.
Being authentic doesn’t come easy. It’s a practice. You have to practice. In some situations it’s easy, in some it’s not. Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to share every thought you had and how you got to where you are. It means your saying what you mean and your not saying it until you know what it is you mean to say. Be impeccable with your word. (Ask me about The Four Agreements, this is agreement #1).
Being authentic is having a power. You don’t know that until your there. You have nothing to hid. Nothing to prove. People feel less intimidating. There is less comparing yourself to others, wondering how you stack up, because your at your best and feeling real. And you can easily spot the people that aren’t there yet. The ones trying to prove to everyone around them that they are “this person” that they are not, but that’s ok. It is! We are all on different chapters of different books. I'm enjoying my current chapter. And I put in the work to get here. And I’ll practice to stay authentic because the more authentic we are the more we attract the best people. And that’s the real goal after all. To connect.
You cannot be authentic if you haven't taken the time to learn about who you really are. Children learn from their parents, siblings and peers about HOW TO be. And when we grow up we have already recited our story so many times that we think this is who we are. It is not who you are! Question everything you think you are. All the good and all the bad. Do you want to be those things? Do you like this side of you? What is not working in your benefit? Make this list and prioritize looking into changes you would have to make. Then get to work. Do the work it would take to transform into who you believe you really are. And if you do not put in the work, say "this isn't a priority of mine right now" because that is okay. But at least your being honest with yourself, and learning all you can about who you truly are and who you want to be and where you are at right now. Because then you can be authentic.
The quote at the top:
My friend Mary and I were exchanging our lists of documentaries we liked when she told me about Brene Brown's Netflix special. I quickly became blown away by everything Brene had to say. She is smart, very funny and her delivery makes you feel like the information is so valuable you do not want to ever forget it. In my notes section of my phone I have many things written down that I learned from her, through her special, her TedTalk and her Podcast appearances. Looking forward to starting her book.
For another time: Authenticity on Social Media
